feel like the whole world has offended me. some little sound or action can make me really pissed off...and i am wishing i am alone in an island. away from every single person. cos pissable me is pissing off others as well. feel like crap...arrrghhh. maybe its because i have not been sleeping well. there always seem to be a darn mosquito around at night.

hmmph. hmmph. hmmmmpppphhhhh.

just watched Billy Eliot. the father expressed his love in such a restrained manner and yet so true and real. painful and sweet at the same time. Billy's moment of defiance is so inspiring. i miss dancing. sigh. he actually dances from within, like everything's so natural. his response to that last question in the audition tingles me. so lucky of him to find the love of his life and also be so talented in it at such a young age. here i am still aimless, dreamless and not even attempting to seek the one thing i cannot live without. that something that will make me feel like "electricity".

have changed in the way i choose modules. CAP is always in my mind now...terrible, isn't it? even checking out exam papers...thanks to the influence of a 'friend' who treats me like an academic answering machine. it's not supposed to be like this...i never meant it to be like this. we should be given space to try new stuff! and not worry about not doing well. first sem was the best...had the 'just-try-won't die' mentality. now it's all buried...dead. get As, get honours.

so shitty.

my dad's coughing his head off. i really really really hate that. must be all that smoking. please. please stop smoking.