the exams are over.

no...i don't feel as happy or relieved as i think i should. I just feel sh**tty. down and out. this is damn sad. the exams are over, i repeat. arrghhhhh....why why why?

maybe all these gloom will wear off soon and i will jumping about again. i have not bounced around for so long...life has become kinda draggy and greyish these few months. perhaps some close friends have noticed that but they just say i have 'mellowed'. yeah...perhaps.

i guess i have changed quite abit since the jc times. think i was crappy, talkative, irritating...the typical chatterbox.

now i have become a wooden block. dull, numb and expressionless.

jolene ahhh...what happened to you? -knock knock- i would really like to know the answer to that question.

to my family who has been seeing a dazed blockhead at home these days...please bear with me. just remember i love you all too much.

heard on the new from this %#@ father: "our children need to study, life needs to go on".

exams are such a BBBIIIIGGG deal here. it's tearing my life into shreds...i HATE it. why can't we have a research-based uni education? why must we pin all our hopes on that bloody piece of exam script. the weightage....arrrghhhh. give me projects...essays..presentations...anytime.

have you ever felt that everything sucks? or faced a lingering thought that something is bound to go wrong? feelings of fear, worries, paranoia and all the bile just builds up. i don't want to disappoint myself or anyone. it's like everything is out to make me lose control...

my family thinks i am acting wierd nowadays. they think i am merely stressed from the exams. that's an understatement.

i really think i am going crazeeeeeeeeeeeee. even Dr Jo thinks so.

disappear from the face of the earth...burrow into some hole...hide under the table...lie beneath the blanket and pretend to be a bolster..

why cant we be ourselves
like we were yesterday...

these days...i want to be ANYTHING but me.

south asia is over! it was fantastic race against time...what an adrenalin rush. was glad that i got stuff to write...heh :) one of the worse feelings is when you stare at the question and your mind goes: huh? and you sit there twirling your pen...wait for time to crawl by amidst the vigorous battle between other pens and other papers around you. *twilight zone*

had a maggi mee lunch! yay. i love eating maggi mee..hee. my mum never let me eat it often..so to me, it is a luxury good. haha.

went to my dad's friend's coffee shop for breakfast on Sunday. what a quaint place! located at an forgotten corner near pasir panjang village...time seems to stand still there. it almost felt surreal. the breakfast was droolicious! :) had the traditional bread and eggs. they sliced the bread till it's really thin and then toast it...oh man. heavenly. and the cups they use are the authentic 1960s kind. i m definitely going back :D

it's pouring out there now..thunders and swollen canals. my doggie has a phobia of thunder! better go and hug my dahling.

back to the struggle with cells and membranes and...i cannot remember their names :/